Dear Steve,
Hello my friend, it is us 30-40 years into the future. You have so much to look forward to in your life! You are still loving, compassionate and connected now and in the future. I know you question whether being this way will make you look weak and cause others to take advantage or you. It won’t. It will make you the most powerful, loved, connected man in any situation. Other men around you may be acting macho and trying to be something in this world that they think the world wants, instead of their true authentic self. What the world needs is more compassionate, Open hearted, loving, and connected men. You have all of the values and heart to be this now and courage to step into your true authentic self. It took me a while to uncover all this in myself and I can’t tell you how liberating it is once you live it.
Here are few things I would ask you to consider:
- You are going to makes some “mistakes”, would you be willing to try the word “learning” vs “mistake”? One is judgement the other is empowering.
- Those women who you think “you do not understand” – want your connection, stability and friendship. Really listen without solving and be curious in what they are saying. If there is sexual connection out of this listening then great, but that is not the goal, true friendships may last longer. The goal is connection and compassion. I can tell you this kind of man is much more attractive to women. Those other guys you know that treat women like shit, manipulate, act macho and demean women are missing true connection and love. Have the courage to follow your heart – you already know this.
- Your father is the most loving compassionate role model you will have in your life. He was 18 when he had you and was learning along the way. Have compassion for him. Forgive him. He will become one your best friends and you will spend so a lot of quality river and family time with him. He is hard on you because, you have a hard time concentrating on things without moving on to the next. His discipline and fortitude will be a key a your life to success.
- Your sisters are your rock, as you are for them. The relationship and closeness your currently have will do nothing but grow.
- Don’t chase money – chase impact. More money and material things will not bring happiness. You have an entrepreneur heart, temper each decision to chase a dream with the joy, compassion, and connection it brings to you and others equally.
- When you impact others and serve them, it will fill your heart exponentially.
- Serve yourself and others equally. Giving too much to others will drain you. Serving only yourself will isolate you. Find Win/Wins, Recognize Serendipity, and stay connected to spirit. You can create impact and connection for yourself and those around you.
- Spend time in nature – it feeds your soul – rafting, fishing, hiking, biking, skiing, mountains and ocean and keeps you humble and connected.
- Take care of your body – feed it good food, exercise a little daily, get 7-8 hours of sleep, drink 64 ounces of water a day, take vitamins and watch the amount of alcohol you drink.
- You already are learning to meditate, embrace this practice daily. It will bring immeasurable peace and calm to your life.
- In relationship – know it is like holding a rope between two people. You cannot push on the rope and if you pull to much the other person will be off balance. Also know that the other person has to hold up their end of the rope otherwise the relationship will not work. Find those people in life who want to walk with you, be held up and will hold you up. You are so worth being loved and have so much love to give and receive. Love big.
- Love your son and teach him how to be a man. Do not put business first, spend the time with him, be at all of his sports games, take him fishing, hunting and rafting. He can be a stubborn one – show him how to hold boundaries and focus on getting things done. Do not be afraid to intervene in his friendships, he thinks he knows what is right, but he does not have the experience you do in relationships. He may choose a hard path of drugs and addiction, regardless of what you do, but stay connected to him vs letting him hit rock bottom and tough love. Do not give up on him. Keep your own boundaries too, without becoming codependent. He will become a powerful man like yourself.
- Family and friends are a key connection as you already know from your Dad and Grandparents. Keep that going, stay connected to your cousins and their kids, raise them as your own. Go to every birthday party, holiday, wedding and funeral. People truly authentically connect at these life events and it will bring deep meaning and connection to your life.
- Most of all trust in yourself and your intuition – you have a huge heart and really care about people. Care about yourself. When a hard decision comes, try stopping, meditating and listening for the answers from your heart vs always solving in your head. Your brain is very intelligent, your heart has more intelligence and will answer in simple single words and feelings – like love, surrender, joy, forgiveness, connection…
You are an amazing human being, with a huge heart full of compassion and connection. You have such an adventurous spirit that will take you all over the world. Be curious about the people you are with, with no expectations. Opportunities for Love, Joy, Compassion and Connection will abound in your life and will have a huge impact on others around you.
I love you so much and cannot wait to see the path you choose in life vs what I chose knowing what I know now,
Steve
